


to slumber beneath the ashes

by labelleepoque



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with just a little fluff, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Fire Nation Politics (Avatar), Fire Nation Royal Family, Gen, Iroh should have probably stuck around, Morally Grey Ursa, Not Compliant with Avatar Comics, Post-War, Ursa is basically regent for her teenage son, a different post war Fire Nation, borrows some elements of the comics but disregards most aspects of them, imagine the promise era Zuko being alone and struggling to rule though, let's see how that works out, messy post war, only compliant with the show, reference to murder and violence, this Ursa is so far from the search Ursa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28094919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labelleepoque/pseuds/labelleepoque
Summary: "The world has changed, Ursa! Things are not as they once were.""You are wrong, Iroh. Nothing ever changes, not really."or: Ursa stitches the teared fabric of her family, life, and nation back together but finds that there are some tears that cannot be mended.
Relationships: Azula & Ursa & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai/Ursa (Avatar), Ursa & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 74





	to slumber beneath the ashes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Our nation of ashes (from which we rise)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/726918) by Naladot. 



> Just to preface, I do not agree with Ursa's thoughts and actions in this story or certain parts of the family dynamic I describe here, I just thought that it would be interesting to explore a different take on her from what the comics gave us.

It is her who finds him. 

It is the celebration of Avatar Szeto, an old festival, long forgotten. She walks through the festivities, taking in the lantern barges and the smell of stalknose mushrooms. 

She hears the low whispers of the people. Many speak of their young Lord who follows the old ways, respects the old promises. But others with bitterness on their lips and anger in their hearts, speak of concessions and foreign interests, of injured veterans and closed factories. 

Ursa pulls her black cloak closer to her, taking in these two realities that seem to exist in the same space. She refocuses herself; she has a task to complete and will not allow herself to get distracted. 

She pushes through the crowd of people-mothers, father, daughters, and sons-as they walk behind the Fire Lord’s procession to the great temple. 

As she enters the temple, Ursa makes use of the secret paths and corridors that she learned in her youth, in order to meet Zuko once he exits the holiest chambers.

Behind a large column, with her heart in her throat, she waits for her son. She breathes in and out, in an attempt to calm herself. She reminds herself that she has waited years for this moment, that waiting an hour or so will feel like nothing in comparison. 

That is a lie, the waiting feels just as sharp and tense as it did _before_. _Before_ , when her days consisted of reading the ancient works, practicing the katas, walking along the beach, and writing. Writing, writing, and writing. Writing letters to Zuko, Azula, and even Ozai, letters that she knew she could never send. She would sit with a cup of tea at her side and watch the letters turn to ashes. Then get up the next day and do it all over again. 

Her heart beats faster than a dragonfly hummingbird and she sees him exit the chamber. She is frozen- her son, her _turtleduck_ is grown. Zuko is tall, taller than all the members of his retinue. His face has lost all its childhood roundness and his features have sharpened. His dark hair falls past his shoulders and at the top of his head, the golden flame glitters as it reflects the bright sunlight. 

“Zuko,” she cries out and her son turns as she walks out into the light. 

His light golden eyes soften as she sees a glint of recognition. 

“Mom," he breathes. 

Zuko raises his hand, signaling for his guards to stand down as he walks towards her. 

The two of them stand, face to face, holding their breaths and she imagines, their hearts.

She does not know who reaches for who first but soon, they are in each other’s arms, clutching each other so tightly that it hurts. 

There are questions to be asked and answered, probably hundreds of them. About her, him, Azula, and Ozai, the past, and the present but all those can wait. 

The whole world can wait. 

* * *

The first time she visits Azula, her daughter just screams and cries out. Cursing her for the things she did and didn’t do. 

The nurses do not allow her to approach; Ursa stands at a distance, fiddling with the sleeve of her robe as Azula jerks her body around violently. 

As she returns back to the palace in the palanquin, she wipes the tears from her cheeks and holds in the sobs that threaten to overwhelm her. 

The second time, Ursa orders the nurses to remove the straitjacket from Azula. 

Ursa turns and tells her Kyoshi Warrior guards to leave the room, the two guards leave but with great hesitation.

She moves closer to Azula and takes a seat across from her at the small table in her room. With wide eyes, she takes in her daughter’s unruly appearance. Her untamed hair, shifting eyes, and hollowed cheeks. 

Azula grabs her wrist and Ursa gasps, feeling the intense heat as Azula twists it. 

She pulls her arm from Azula’s grasp and runs her slender fingers over the forming bruise. 

When Azula speaks, it is with a hoarse voice. She forms her words slowly and carefully, as someone who is adjusting themselves to speaking again. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were real.”

Ursa tries to prompt her to continue speaking but Azula spurns all her attempts, preferring to stare at the floor. 

The third time, she can tell that Azula is calmer. Her deep amber eyes look sharper, not as sharp as they once did but there is more life in them than before. 

Ursa again asks for the room to be cleared and sits across from her. She notices that she is tapping her foot against the floor and stops. 

Azula stares her down before speaking in a cracked voice. “Mother, you’ve come to see your little monster?” 

Ursa covers her hands with the long sleeves of her robe, hoping that Azula did not notice them shaking. She clears her voice before declaring, “You are not a monster, you are my daughter.”

Azula emits a dry laugh. “If I am not a monster, why would dear brother Zuzu lock me in here?”

Ursa bites her tongue, almost hard enough to draw blood. She tries to steady her voice but when the words come out, she knows she failed to do so. “I will speak to him. I will get you real help. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

Her daughter stares at her steely-eyed and firmly states, “No, you won’t.”

“I will, I promise.” Ursa declares in a firm voice.

* * *

Solemnly, with long strides, Ursa enters Zuko’s office. 

“Your sister must leave that place. She will not get better there, not while being tied up like an animal.”

The firebender closes his book and studies her. He sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “They would untie her if she did not bite or scratch her doctors and nurses.”

Her tone is firm but gentle when she replies, “She is scared and alone so she is reacting the only way she knows how to.” She adds, “She is your younger sister, you must protect her.”

Zuko scoffs, “Protect her? She tried to kill Uncle, killed the Avatar, conquered the largest city in the world, and tried to kill my friend during an Agni Kai! She almost killed me and I have the scar to prove it! She does not need anyone’s protection!”

Finally, Ursa pleads with her son. “She has done horrible things but she is a young and misguided girl. She deserves a chance to be better.”

A pensive mood overtakes the firebender. Ursa watches as he furrows his brow and pulls in his mouth tightly. A long moment passes and unsteadily Zuko says, “Mother, it all used to make sense. Everything changed after you left.”

Ursa walks to the other side of his desk to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “And now that I am back, things will change again. I’m not saying that it will be easy but we are a family, we must help her.”

Zuko brings the inside corner of his brow up and gives her a feeble smile as he nods.

He agrees with her but only partially. She knows that their relationship has been in a steady decline since her disappearance, culminating in Azula trying to kill him more than once. 

She holds her emotions in as she remembers the days of them running and playing in the royal gardens without a care in the world. She will find some way to bring them closer again, she must. They don't know it but they need each other now just as they did then. 

She presses a soft kiss to his scarred cheek. 

As she leaves his office, Ursa whispers a quiet thanks to Agni that Zuko did not notice her bruise. 

* * *

A therapist from Shuhon Island named Hanae comes to work with Azula. Hanae, a pretty young woman in her mid-twenties, has significant experience working with veterans in Shuhon and Ma'inka. She is also a talented firebender and kaui ball player. With her inviting amber eyes and calm, unhurried voice, Ursa is not surprised when Azula takes a liking to her.

Hanae and Azula make significant progress in a short period of time. With medication and reflection, Azula is calmer; she and Zuko begin spending time together-playing cards, firebending, and discussing books but Azula still keeps her distance from Ursa. 

One day in mid-spring, Ursa walks to the royal library and looks over into the gardens. Her jaw tightens as she watches Hanae and Azula meditate, their faces serene as wisps of their dark hair fly in the breeze.

She unclenches just as Azula opens her eyes and almost instantly notices her. The look on her face makes Ursa feel hollow.

* * *

First, they begin corresponding through letters shuffled back and forth through the halls of the palace by couriers. Ursa writes until her hand is cramped then throws her letter away to rewrite it. She always sends Azula the second letter, never the first one. 

Then, they meet with Hanae in one of the many tea rooms of the palace. When their conversations would get heated, Hanae would take Azula outside to do her breathing exercises. Azula often returned to the tea room to continue but occassionally she would not return, choosing to retire to her room. Whether Azula returned or not, Ursa would remain in the tea room to finish her tea. 

After awhile, in addition to their tea room conversations, they would take short walks in the garden, paint, or make pottery. Ursa cherished these quiet moments of simple conversation and companionship.

They did not include Zuko in their tea conversations, garden walks, or their time painting and creating pottery but the three of them take time to sit by the pond feeding the turtleducks. 

As Ursa sits breaking off pieces of bread with her children, she feels a lightness in her heart. And she knows that she is ready.

* * *

In a voice thick from disuse, he says, “Hello, dear. I see you’ve finally found your way back home.”

Ursa does not reply, and she forces herself to not tremble as she pours the tea and passes a cup along with a tin of biscuits through the bars. 

Crisply, she begins, “I've brought almond cookies and red tea. I know you prefer white…”

Ozai pushes his matted hair out of his face and with penetrating eyes, he takes in her appearance. “Do you really want to talk about tea? I doubt you came all this way for that.”

Ursa scowls as her eyes darken. “Would you rather talk about our family? Our children? The ways you’ve hurt them?” 

Ozai’s voice lifts, “Ah, you remember we have two children. I thought you had forgotten.”

Ursa leans in closer to the bars as she shouts, “It was you who had forgotten that! I loved and cared for them both.”

Ozai takes a sip of his tea before narrowing his steely eyes at her. He and Zuko have the same eyes, the exact same shade of pale gold, but his eyes were cold while Zuko’s eyes were warm, always warm. 

His eyebrow lifts and he quickly states, “I’m sure Azula would say otherwise. But I’ve heard our daughter is not saying much these days. All that shock therapy Zuko put her through must have taken its toll.” 

She almost tells him that Azula is doing better, much better but he does not deserve to know such things, not anymore. 

Fury twists inside her as she squints her eyes. “Stop! Zuko has tried very hard to help her. Now that I am here, I can help the both of them.”

Ozai lets out a sardonic laugh and sneers. “Of course, why wouldn’t you take the opportunity to defend your beloved son, the apple of your eye! The one who could do no wrong. You treat him just like my parents treated Iroh.” 

Ursa pauses in recognition. How did she never see it? “Your parents...it was all about them, right? To spite them, you treated Zuko as they treated you and Azula as they treated him.”

He does not deny it.

“Azula deserved it! She was a prodigy and could have rested on that but she worked hard to better this nation.” He barks out. 

“At the expense of herself, of her well-being,” she declares. 

Ozai shifts his legs and crosses his arms. With a puffed chest, he states, “That’s more than I can say for your precious turtleduck. You coddled him. When he should have been learning how to run our nation, you filled his head with plays and spirit tales.”

“He was a child. Our child,” Ursa states through a clenched jaw. 

“Well, what is his excuse now? He is grown and each day he gives up more and more of our country to please his foreign friends!” The cords of his neck become visible as he explodes. Ozai continues raging, “Many see him as a puppet ruler and grow weary by the hour as outsiders tell us our culture is not worth anything and should be destroyed. This nation will die and it will be our family remembered for killing it!”

Ursa stands and retaliates, “You’ve always been good at deflecting. Anything he does, it is to convince the world that he is nothing like you! Was it not you who wanted to burn the Earth Kingdom to ashes for your own glory? You wanted to feel big after spending your entire life feeling small, unappreciated, and neglected.”

Ozai is silent as he stares at her with brooding eyes. 

“What? You have nothing to say for yourself? You were never at a loss for words before!”

With a mirthless smile, he says, “I am in this prison, stripped of my bending by a child monk. I will die here. What more is there to say?”

“Goodbye, Ozai," Ursa sighs as she turns to leave the prison. 

And so quietly that she almost doesn’t hear, he mutters, “Goodbye, Fire Lily.”

* * *

The capital is different, very different from what she remembered. The air is tenser, stifling not from the heat but from themselves. The people are ashen-faced- quieter, more solemn, and pensive. They are paying penance, not by giving up their income or technology but their souls, their spirits, the very thing that makes them Fire Nation. 

She spends her time reading to the children in the orphanages, visiting hospitals and veterans centers, and noting the long lines for unemployment aid. 

She borrows servant clothes to go out into the city unnoticed. She watches as they close temples and take down statues and emblems. All things that existed long before the war, tracing back to ancient times. 

The crisp scent of burning overtakes her as she watches books and scrolls being burnt at the edge of the city. In taverns and bars, she hears of newspapers being told by civil servants to not discuss the joblessness in major islands and the closing of many family owned businesses. She speaks to actors and directors being told not to put on the ancient works that discuss war and battles. 

In the markets, she sees Earth Kingdom goods instead of the traditional Fire Nation goods. She touches the crafts and notes the significant difference in quality and price. She recoils at the feel of them, they are cut-rate with sub-par craftmanship.

Around the city she sees former artisans and farmers from Caldera and the other islands, out of work and sleeping in the streets because no one is buying Fire Nation products. 

She walks down a pathway and sees a row of people of various ages, dressed in white and she can tell they have recently cut off their topknots. 

Ursa stops in front of an older man, his deep honey eyes remind her of her father. 

“Hello, sir. I am sorry for your loss. May I ask who you are grieving?”

The old man peers into her and says, “Not a person but a people. The Fire Nation is dying. Can’t you feel it? There is something wrong, this is not peace or freedom.” 

With a brief nod, she walks away. As she walks back towards the palace, she goes over all the things she saw, heard, and felt in her mind and heart. 

Their country is dying and Zuko will be the last to know it. 

* * *

Ursa invites Zuko for tea in her favorite tea room. The room, with its peach walls and panda lily accents was a wedding present from Ozai. She feels a sharp tug at her heart of that memory and pushes her emotions back down beneath the surface. As Zuko sits down across from her, she gives him a strained smile before she pours their tea. 

The two of them sit in easy silence, enjoying the cherry blossom cookies and warm tea. 

She pushes her dark hair over her shoulder and looks at her son with soft eyes. “Zuko, things cannot go on this way. This must stop.”

“The Council of Nations said that I must take these steps. Either I agree to them or...” His voice trailed off, he will not dare complete the phrase aloud. 

She nods but she knows it is an empty threat. The other nations couldn’t occupy the Fire Nation even if they wanted to. Their forces are not large enough and the Fire Nation still maintains their military forces along with having an active and trained population. 

So she presses Zuko, “Do they know this country existed long before the war and will continue to exist after it?”

There is a numbness to Zuko, her boy is resigned and haggard. He speaks in a hoarse but firm whisper, “We were wrong, Mother. About everything and they fear us with good reason.”

Ursa furrows her forehead, saddened that her son has no idea what is happening outside the palace gates. “This is wrong, too. What is happening will not help our country move forward. All this is doing is stoking the flames of anger against the Avatar, against outsiders, against _you_.”

Strands of black hair have come loose from his topknot and he pushes them back. “First, I need more information then I need to figure out how to make the changes.”

“Who did your uncle appoint to the Fire Council?”

Zuko sighs, “Uncle? He left the city immediately after my coronation.” 

This baffles Ursa, _why would Iroh leave Zuko alone to rule? Was it not his responsibility to guide Zuko?_

A realization comes over her as she bites her lip. 

_(It wasn’t his responsibility. It wasn’t his responsibility. It wasn’t his responsibility._

_Iroh only stepped in because-!)_

She feels bile rise in her throat and takes another sip of tea to calm herself. 

Zuko notices her distress and continues speaking. Sheepishly, he adds, “I dismissed most of the high level staff members and I haven’t been able to replace all of them.”

“What?”

He rubs the back of his neck, looking like he is sinking under the weight of his formal robes. “I have no idea who I can trust here, I fear that everyone is loyal to Father.”

“Zuko, what does the preamble of the Code of Conduct for Civil Servants say in regards to their relationship to the Fire Lord?” She questions, remembering the many nights she would spend with Zuko going over his lessons in preparation for his oral exams. 

Zuko pinches his forehead before parroting what he learned as a child. “They serve the Fire Lord, for the Fire Lord is the essence of our nation.”

“Most people are not loyal to your father and will not be loyal to you. They are loyal to the crown and you happen to be the one who wears it.”

“So I should bring back those I dismissed?”

“No, at least not all of them. Your father did have his favorites, mostly on the War Council.” Ursa cups her chin, “It was good that you replaced them. But the Fire Council, many of them should come back. Of course, we also need fresh blood to help implement your vision for the future. You must start participating in court every once in a while, a good Fire Lord cannot be isolated. You must have friends and supporters in both the noble and common classes.”

A glaze look comes over Zuko’s eyes. She knows that look, he is overwhelmed so he is retreating into himself. 

She reaches over and squeezes his forearm. “My love, I will help you. This is difficult but it will get easier as time passes. The first five years are difficult for any Fire Lord.”

Zuko nods and places his other hand on top of hers. 

* * *

With her arm linked with Zuko's, they walk ahead of Azula and Hanae. She takes them into the city to see for themselves what is happening to their country, their people. 

Zuko conducts interviews with people, gathering as much information as he can. Over the course of the day, Ursa watches as her son's resolve strengthens. 

Ursa restructures the staff, bringing back several of the old ministers, along with bright graduates of the royal universities. 

She works with the ministers of economy, trade, and industry to create a subsidy program along with implementing tariffs, import quotas, and increasing standards and regulations on foreign products. They convert factories to domestic use in the areas of steel, shipbuilding and textiles. They open power plants for geothermal energy. Ursa and Zuko develop a training program for veterans to reintegrate them into the workforce. 

She meets with the Education Minister and her staff to revamp the educational system to better reflect the war and teach students about the culture of the other nations. Zuko helps her create disclaimers to place in books and plays to inform of certain outdated cultural depictions. 

The air lifts, and the people feel freer as consumption in recreational activities rebounds with increases in domestic tourism, reading, and sports.

* * *

As the Council of Nations descends on Ember Island, Ursa makes herself scarce, preferring to walk along the beach or attend the theater. In the mornings, she would meet with Zuko and his staff to go over their demands and concerns but she would not attend the working groups. Zuko must be viewed as a young leader growing into his role, not as a boy whose mother whispers ideas in his ear. 

That is what she told him and his staff but not what she told herself. She doesn't know if it is out of fear or shame and she isn’t sure she truly wants to know her motives. 

Whatever the secret motives of her heart, she continues on, observing the events at a distance. 

Ursa is crouched on the shore, making sand art and reminiscing about running along the beach from sunrise to sunset with her family. 

She stops and stands when she notices a pair of brown legs in front of her. 

She puts her hair behind her ear and bows, “Hello.”

Chieftain Hakoda returns her bow. 

Ursa wipes her hands on her skirt and says, “I can never thank your daughter enough for saving my Zuko.”

With kind eyes and deep conviction, Hakoda declares, “Well, Zuko saved her _first_ and before that he risked his life to free me from prison. He is a great young man and a just ruler.”

“Thank you,” Ursa replies softly. 

“I’m sorry for interrupting,” Hakoda stammers. 

“No, it is fine, Chieftain! I was just making sand art.”

“Would you do this with your children?”

And without thinking, without remembering, she says, "Not really, I would watch or swim, it was my husband who would make art before the children ran over it.”

“Your husband?” He queries, with all the weight, pain, and seriousness that her husband brings to any conversation. Ozai is not a man but a symbol of the old world, the old Fire Nation, all the darkness and pain that came with it. 

Ursa silently curses herself, her nostalgia, her inability to separate the past from the present, to accept that what once was will never be again. 

She watches as Hakoda’s eyes take on a glint of something-she cannot tell if it is pity or sympathy. 

Ursa cares for neither, and something in her snaps. She makes up some excuse about having tea planned with Zuko and she scurries back towards the house. 

She walks up the stairs, avoiding couriers, attendants, servants, and guards. She opens the door to Zuko’s room and half-runs inside, “What did you tell them? Your friends?” 

Zuko, sitting on his bed surrounded by papers, hides his copy of _Love Amongst the Dragons_ under some trade proposals as he looks up at her. “Mother, what are you talking about?” 

Ursa crosses her arms, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “The chieftain looked at me like I was some prisoner. Like your father locked me in my bedroom or in a closet.”

In a halting voice, Zuko huffs, “He might as well have! He banished you, I didn't see you for over six years! At times, I even thought you were dead.”

“Zuko, you know that it was both of our id-…”

He interrupts her, “Mother, all they know is that you left and now you are back. They just filled in the blanks with their own assumptions.” 

Ursa is silent as she sits in a wooden chair, putting her head in her hands. 

Zuko’s voice turns hard, “Would you rather they know the entire truth of your life? All the schemes and manipulations the two of you pulled to get him more power over the years? So they could think you were…”

“A monster,” she half-whispers. 

Zuko emits a sharp sound. “No! Not a monster….” She watches as he turns his gaze from her, looking out at the sea. “Complicit.” 

She sighs and adjusts her flowing skirt, “Well, I was. I was until the very moment I left.”

* * *

“Where were you, dear?” Ursa asks as Azula enters her small studio, filled with pots, clay, ink, brushes, and hanging scrolls. 

“Apologizing to Zuzu’s little friends. It went as well as one might imagine.” Azula states as she flops down on the maroon futon by the window. 

Ursa sets down her paintbrush. “All you can do is apologize and be better. You cannot control whether that apology is accepted.” 

Azula doesn’t reply, pushing strands of hair out of her face. 

“Have you heard back from Mai or Ty Lee?” 

“Mai did not reply but Ty Lee did. She wrote briefly about how she has been traveling all over the Earth Kingdom.” 

“That is good. Maybe one day in the future she could visit.” 

“Mother.” 

“Yes?” 

“I’m okay. With you and Zuzu, I’m okay.” 

Ursa smiles and returns to her painting. 

Later, the three of them stand at the harbor waving as they watch the international delegations leave.

“Finally,” Azula breathes and Ursa can not find it in herself to disagree with her. 

* * *

“Where’s Hanae?” Zuko asks as he walks out onto the porch, with loose hair and a simple tunic and pants. 

“Of course, you would ask that!” Azula snarks as she rests her head on top of her legs. 

Zuko scowls as he sits next to Ursa and grabs a red bean bun from the tray. He raises his eyebrow as he looks at his sister, “What is that supposed to mean? _You_ told me she would be here!”

Azula pushes her bangs behind her ears and plainly says, “I lie, a lot. Remember?”

Zuko sighs and begins to eat his bun. 

“Zuzu, I hope you know that you are too young for her and she is way out of your league. She likes actual men, she would never go for a scrawny teenager, even if they are the Fire Lord.” Azula teases as she rolls her eyes. 

Zuko flushes deep crimson and sucks his cheeks in, “I- I don’t like your therapist! That’s so weird, why would you think that!”

Tilting her head back, Azula says, “Well, Mai broke up with you awhile ago so I’m not surprised that you are looking for options but next time look in your own age range.”

Ursa begins crying softly and covers her face as something from deep inside overwhelms her. 

Azula half-grins, “I understand why you are covering your face, Mother. Zuko can be so odd, maybe he should be in therapy too.”

Azula’s face shifts as Ursa sobs become louder. 

Zuko immediately says, “You’ve upset Mother, Azula!”

Azula looks downward and begins, “Mother, I-”

Ursa wipes her eyes and grabs their hands, “No, I’m sorry. I am just happy that we all are able to spend time together. I missed this, I missed the both of you with all my heart.” With a soft smile, “Now, let’s look at the stars and tell the legends like we used to. What do you two think?”

Zuko squeezes her hand and half-smiles. 

“If you promise not to cry again,” Azula says with a smirk. 

The three of them huddle closer to each other on the porch, eating and laughing as they point out the stars and tell each other the legends as if they didn’t know them all by heart.

* * *

The Western Air Temple unnerves Ursa. 

There is something in this place, it feels haunted by the blood and cries of the innocent. 

In the corridors and passageways, she wonders if the shifting lights are ghosts wandering, searching for comfort.

She and the Fire Nation delegation bow before the Avatar as Zuko presents him with boxes and boxes of stolen artifacts and scrolls that he bought back from various galleries and private collectors.

Her eyes widen in recognition as she sees Zuko hand over a pine box with a golden dragon amongst the clouds. That box and the ancient scrolls in it were a gift from her grandfather to Fire Lord Sozin in their youth. She doesn’t know why but it makes her feel something to watch Zuko give it away. 

Afterwards, Ursa wraps her arms around herself as she looks out into the clouds. 

Zuko walks up behind her and speaks in a soft voice. “Do you understand now, what we’ve done?” 

_"We_ didn’t do this.” Ursa maintains. 

She turns her head to look at her son, sensing the tension and deep guilt in him as storms churn in his eyes. “That’s where you are wrong, Mother.”

* * *

A quiet meal of steamed buns is interrupted when Zuko suddenly tosses a letter on the floor as his face turns pale. 

Before she can even ask, he says, “Another letter from Aang about the colonies. He wants me to come to Ba Sing Se as quickly as I can. I can’t keep traveling there every couple of months with no result.” He pushes his food away and begins pacing around his desk. 

“They are against me, all of them. I don’t understand it, they are my friends.”

It is the dejection in his voice that breaks her. “Friends?” she seethes. “Then where have they been? Several assassins have come for your head and not one letter about it from any of them! They only contact you about reparations and trials, taxes and tariffs.” 

“Mother, please,” Zuko pleads with his palms facing upwards. 

She calms herself down. It will do Zuko no good to expose the depth of her anger. She cannot help but say, “I’m so sorry, Zuko. I feel terrible, I never wanted you to learn this.”

“Learn what exactly?” Zuko asks, clearly puzzled. 

She bites her lip before declaring, “That once you have power, there are few in this world who will stand by you.” 

Zuko crosses his arms. “You sound like Father,” he rasps. 

Ursa does not reply.

* * *

“You were the one who sent me that note about the planned harbor bombing.”

“My so-called friends expected me to keep quiet about it. You know as well as I do that I’ve never done what others expected of me.”

“What are their other plans?”

“Fire Lily, I think if you come again you will spark my memory of their other plans. Next time, bring white tea.”

* * *

It is midday; mother and son are enjoying a close game of pai sho. 

Zuko moves his white jade tile as Ursa takes a sip of oolong tea. 

“Why are you still visiting him?” he asks. 

Zuko’s sharp questioning eyes remind her so much of _him._

Ursa captures his rose tile with her jasmine tile and says, “He is helping us, helping you.”

Zuko snorts and sips his tea. “The last time Father helped me I was ten years old.” He cringes like a child who just caught their parents kissing before declaring, “It is plain to see that he is doing this for you.”

“Perhaps he is, but I will not discount valuable information just because he is the source,” she asserts. 

Her son exhales sharply and shakes his head as moves another tile.

* * *

There was another attempt on Zuko’s life. His carriage was meant to be attacked as he traveled to the temple but he took another route based on Ozai’s information. Along the original route, the Kyoshi Warriors were able to corner the would-be assassin who jumped into the sea to avoid capture. 

“Who is their leader?” She asks as Ozai sips his white tea. 

He sets the cup down and arches his brows. “Why ask me questions that you already know the answer to?”

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t ask if I did!” Ursa half-shouts. 

“Oh but you do.” Ozai says with a half-grin. “You know their leader quite well. His handwriting was and is atrocious but he and his wife saw fit to push their solemn daughter on our children from the moment she could walk.” 

Silently, she walks out of the prison into the sunlight. 

* * *

In the underground passageways of the palace, a mother and daughter conspire to save a son, brother, and the entire nation. 

Ursa appeals to her daughter, “Azula, I have no right to ask this of you but you know that I will do anything to protect my children.” 

Azula sighs, clad in black with her hair in a high ponytail. “You are right, Mother. You have no right to ask this of me.”

Ursa moistens her dry lips and tries to keep her voice even. “You and your brother are the children of Agni, we cannot let an ancient dynasty fall to the unworthy.”

Azula tilts her head to the side and bites her lip, as her amber eyes flicker in the low light. “In that we are in agreement, Mother.”

Ursa holds her breath as Azula continues speaking, “We will meet back here at sunrise?”

“Yes, we will.”

As the two women turn to leave in opposite directions, Ursa cries out, “Wait, Azula!”

Azula turns back towards her as Ursa says, “Hail Fire Lord Zuko.”

Azula rolls her eyes but completes the phrase, “May his flame burn forever.”

* * *

Ursa flips through the pages of _The Capital City Times,_ Former-Governor Ukano was found dead in his bedroom by his servants. His death is reported to be caused by a heart attack, the newspaper states. In the flurry of activity, no one pays any mind to the empty tea cup in his office that he drank before bed. 

Right below, an article details how home guards in the textile district stumbled upon the leading members of The New Ozai Society. The members were chained to a pole in an empty factory. 

The members speak of someone in a red spirit mask with intense orange flames. 

One even mentioned seeing sparks of blue at the tips of the flame but such a thing was considered to be too fanatical to be believed. 

Ursa sets the newspaper down on the table and sips her cup of tea as Azula eats a breakfast of gruel with spices and oil in the chair adjacent to her. 

They both look over as Zuko enters the room dressed in red and black training clothes. 

He turns his scowl on them. "Did you two," Zuko pauses, he is older and growing into his role, "No! Don't tell me anything, it's better that way."

He sighs and turns away, heading towards the training area. 

* * *

It is difficult for her to describe how the Avatar makes her feel. A part of her does fear him for his power and might, how he was able to rob her proud husband of his flame and end the war, how he is an ancient being in mind and spirit but dwells in the body of an adolescent. But that is not why she sometimes feels ill-at-ease around him. It is his _eyes._ His eyes that have nothing and all of her grandfather. Her grandfather who comes to her in dreams, who speaks no words, but whose voice and ideas she knows so well. 

She continues to ignore him as she has been doing her entire life. He has done nothing good for her or her mother, he caused whispers and glares to follow her from early childhood. She felt like an aberration at times, other nobles wondered if she had traitorous intentions or was even part spirit. Others wondered about whether she inherited his power and were visibly disappointed to find out that neither she nor her mother could bend. 

Ozai was the first person to treat her as a human beyond the _Avatar's_ legacy. He too knew what it was like to live under a shadow, longing for the sun. That is what drew them to each other, all those years ago. 

The Avatar comes to her in the gardens and for a moment, less than it takes for a dragonfly hummingbird to flap its wings- she sees crimson, a white beard, and a gleaming crown. But the flash is gone as soon as it appears. 

“Lady Ursa.”

“Avatar Aang.”

“May I join you?”

“Of course.”

The Avatar sits beside her and says, affably, “After the final battle, Zuko would bring me here to meditate under the cool shade of the oak tree. The responsibilities had hit us at the same time, so we would come here to escape temporarily before returning into the fray.”

Ursa nods and with a gentle smile says, “Thank you for being here with him during that difficult time.”

With a slight shift in his mood, the Avatar implores, “I’m asking you to speak to him. The four nations must be separate. It is how this world must be.”

“Who told you that? My grandfather?” Ursa raises a delicate eyebrow and continues feeding the turtleducks. 

He winces, “It is hard but it must be done. There must be balance.”

“Balance? There hasn’t been balance in over a century." The noblewoman scoffs. "I doubt there ever truly was balance in the world. As for separation, will you give up the waterbender like you ask those families to give up their loved ones?”

Something flashes in the Avatar’s eyes, and Ursa sees him for what he truly is. A child. A child who was thrust into something beyond his control or understanding. Just like her Zuko. She is flooded with sadness and sympathy but her feelings quickly shift to anger. 

(A child is asking her to make Zuko sign his own death warrant.)

The monk soberly states, “We all must play our part. Sacrifices must be made.” Ursa looks at him and sees the bags under his eyes and the tension in his jaw. He has thought and wrestled with this. She thinks that she should feel comforted by that but she doesn't. 

“Sacrifices? Do you know what you are asking? Do you know what the people will do to him? I will not lose another one of my family. I will not watch my son turn to ashes.”

“Lady Ursa-”

She interrupts, “Where was this Earth King? Why don't you speak to him to stop his invasion? As I recall while you and your friends gave up your childhoods to end this war, the Earth King was parading around with his bear. What sacrifices has he made, what has he given of himself? I will not do it.”

With a tight-lipped smile, the Avatar rises and bows. “I see, thank you for your time Lady Ursa.” 

“Of course, Avatar Aang.” She nods in acknowledgement of him. 

The next day, Zuko places a total embargo on Earth Kingdom goods. 

The day after that, war is declared. 

The Avatar watches, then he shouts, then he pleads, and finally he leaves and does not return to the capital city not even after the war is won. 

* * *

Zuko meets with the Earth King on a boat in neutral waters. 

She and Azula stand behind him as the Earth King relinquishes all claims over the disputed territories with the Avatar standing at the side. 

Zuko tries to speak to his friends but they all rebuff him, some more reluctantly than others. 

Later, the three of them are in an air ship returning to Yu Dao. Ursa drinks warm jasmine tea and looks out into the congregation of tumbling white. 

Azula stares at her manicured nails before speaking to her quiet and brooding brother. “Zuzu, why the long face? We won.”

Zuko replies wearily, “Really? Then why doesn't it feel like it?”

In Yu Dao, Ursa watches as the temples are restored and the Fire Nation emblems are placed back in the city square. 

She and Azula stand behind Zuko, their robes blending into the pink sky as Zuko speaks about the war and the future. 

He tells the massive sea of red and green that it was in Yu Dao that he saw what the Fire Nation could be. He describes _a nation of people, united not solely by blood or heritage but a common vision for the future._

Zuko declares, "To heal the scars of our past, we must move forward hand and hand into a brighter tomorrow, in harmony with the rest of the world! That is why today, I declare the Ten-Day War concluded and the Fire Nation colonies to be renamed the Fire Nation provinces! We are not a divided country but one that spans across the sea, connected by our minds and our hearts. May Agni bless Yu Dao! May Agni bless the Fire Nation!”

She looks out into the crowd as shouts ring out in support of Zuko and the Fire Nation. She looks over at her son and sees that this is not the future he imagined for himself but it is the one he must live with. 

* * *

Zuko and Azula return to the capital while she remains in Yu Dao to work with the provincial government on certain reforms. They implement ethnic integration policies in housing, government services, and education. They also implement a quota system in the provincial government and higher education to insure that the ethnic groups have equal representation. 

She walks through the city without her attendant and sees a group of older men playing pai sho. Her eyes glint with recognition and she walks over to them.

"Hello, brother. Would you like to join me for tea?"

* * *

She bites her egg tart as Iroh sips his tea. 

The mood is tense and frosty. She did not believe he would ever wish to speak to her, not after all she has done. She sits and fiddles with the sleeve of her emerald robe. 

Iroh narrows his amber eyes at her and harshly he says, “I fear by the time you are through, he will have no allies, no friends! Is that what you want?”

Ursa exhales sharply, “Where are these allies and friends, Iroh? When I came back, he was alone! He was struggling under the weight of the crown. How do you explain such a thing? They all left him, even _you_.” 

Iroh is silent as he grimaces. He looks downward at his tea. She regrets what she said, it is true but the truth can be delivered with honey not vinegar. 

She has heard all about his international group of great masters, The Order of the White Lotus. With a wavering voice she remarks, “We are Fire Nation, I hoped you would remember that. Our duties lie to our people and to Agni.”

Iroh shouts, chastising her.

"The world has changed, Ursa! Things are not as they once were."

"You are wrong, Iroh. Nothing ever changes, not really."

* * *

The very next day, she runs through the streets, not even caring as she bumps into people. She runs into Iroh's hotel and bangs on his door. 

He takes in her disheveled appearance and nervously asks, “Ursa, what is wrong?”

Breathlessly she replies, “It is Ozai. He has been poisoned.”

* * *

On the air ship towards the capital, Ursa clutches Zuko's note.

“Zuko says a guard did it. When questioned, he said his older sister was in the 41st division.”

Iroh looks at her for a moment then looks away, continuing to drink his tea silently. 

* * *

The healers hover over him as he convulses and cries out in pain. He refuses cool water, stating that it burns his tongue. Ursa leaves the room and heads to her room to begin creating a remedy to help with the pain. When she returns, the healers and Iroh look up at her solemnly. 

She walks into the solar looking at her children sitting with ashen-faces. She says, “Your father is in a coma. It is very unlikely that he will ever wake from it.” 

Azula is silent and downcast while Zuko explodes as he leaves to return to his room. 

Ursa walks over to Azula and takes her hand and the two of them follow after Zuko. 

Ursa pushes Zuko's door open and rushes to wrap her arms around him as he sobs on the floor. 

She wraps her arms around him as he thrashes and cries. 

He chokes, “Why can’t I hate him? Gods, it should be so easy to hate him!”

Ursa runs her fingers through his hair and looks up as Azula crouches down to rub his arm. The two of them are silent as they wait for his breathing to calm. 

None of them say anything further, language is too simple, too incomplete to give voice to the complex emotions stirring in each of their souls. 

When she returns to the room, she finds Iroh holding Ozai's hand and reading to him. 

He turns towards her and lets go of his brother's limp hand and walks out to speak to her in the solar. 

With an emotion in his eyes that Ursa cannot even begin to describe, Iroh plainly says, “I am 25 years older than him. When he was a baby, I would dress in simple clothes and take him out into the city. I would put him on my shoulders and he would reach up to touch the lanterns. The unsuspecting people would ask if he was my son, I would always say yes.”

As far as she knew, Iroh and Ozai were always distant by age, geography, and eventually hearts.

“I didn't know that," Ursa declares. 

“He didn’t either," Iroh half-whispers. 

* * *

The next day, Iroh sits with her in the solar sharing green tea and walnut biscuits. 

“Ursa, I would like to prolong my visit if that is alright with you," he says. 

“Of course, this is your home.” The way she clips the sound on the word home does not escape his notice. 

“You will always be welcome here.” Ursa quickly adds. 

Iroh reaches over and gives her hand a gentle touch as he gets up to return to Ozai's side. 

* * *

Later, Ursa sits in the whispering grass of the royal gardens, breaking off pieces of bread for the turtleducks and finally, she breathes. 

**Author's Note:**

> I always wondered in the back of my mind what would have happened if the Ursa who came back was not the one Zuko expected. My Ursa is based on the Ursa in Zuko Alone who laughed at Iroh's joke about burning down Ba Sing Se and her description in the Nick website as being a noble and Ozai's perfect match. I hope this isn't too jarring for many of you but some of this fits into common fanon ideas for Ursa's backstory before The Search came out. Thank you all for reading!


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